then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
