i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
