I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
