Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
