Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
