If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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