At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
