dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
