i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
