I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
