how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
