i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
