It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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