member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vodka?
Forever.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
