THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
