the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
