If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
