FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
