Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
