12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize