anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
