I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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