the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
try to milk me bitch
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