i wish my penis had a tongue
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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