whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
