did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Floor bacon is actually really good
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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