I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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