Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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