Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
