This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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