pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
