Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
