Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize