He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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