is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was like eating out sand paper
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
