You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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