Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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