there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
