let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
