The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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