pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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