this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
