So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
