why didn't you poke me back
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
