his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
