his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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