11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
