if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
