The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
