he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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