some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
