i was born a porn star she said
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
