So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
