Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
