It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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