so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
