idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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