You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
