I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
