wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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