Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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