Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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