I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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