this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
